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Last night I sat down to write this blog. With the election underway, my brain was hitting emotional overload. I needed a topic for this week’s SEX TALK but my mind wouldn’t cooperate. Sex and politics were not good bedfellows  I lay awake ’til dawn rifling through mental flip cards of sex in recovery experiences (my own and stories that have been shared with me). Numb, exhausted and disconnected. It felt like a closing scene from Clockwork Orange.

It appears we’re living in a country where a large percentage of its people long to return to an idealized 1950s version of America. I’m proud to be part of a recovery community that pushes back against the very taboos and stigmas the 60s began liberating us from. If we want to heal from the ravages of active addiction we have to push back and eradicate societal shame. Ours is a quest for inner peace and self-acceptance and this is achievable by sharing our experience strength and hope, by participating in altruistic acts, and by expanding our capacity for empathy and compassion.

SEX TALK started out as an open-topic forum free for all discussion – a safe space for people in recovery to talk about their relationship to sex and to explore how their sexual behavior, desires, and feelings impact their recovery. A lot’s happened since SEX TALK came on the In-the-Rooms scene. Special interest discussions such as David Weiss’ Sex and Addiction and Rachel Levy’s Healthy Love are now part of the ITR offerings; SA (Sex Addicts) and SLA (Sex and Love) have been added to the 12-Step video meeting list; and Hazelden Books released ITR member Jennifer Matesa’s “Sex in Recovery: A Meeting Between the Covers,” an engaging and excellently researched recovery book. My point here is that once we began talking about sex in recovery a door opened and we walked through it. It starts with courage and willingness to share experience strength and hope. Conversations on ITR make their way into small local groups of recovering friends. Your contribution matters.

Join me for SEX TALK this Sunday at 9pm ET to talk about sex in recovery – our fears, desires, shame, behaviors, confusion, insecurities, our secrets, pleasure and our pain. This week’s topic is Truth or Consequences because once the drugs and alcohol are gone it’s impossible to side-step accountability – even if we’d like to. I want to extend a special welcome to anyone new to recovery because you’ll have your first drug and alcohol-free sexual experience and the people at SEX TALK have been there. You’ll find support and no topic is off limit so feel free to bring it.

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Patty is a nationally recognized certified recovery coach and writer. She lives in New York City.


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